Monday, May 5, 2014

The Order of Things

Adam and I have have had some people question the order of things in our adoption. Mostly, people ask about the fact that we haven't struggled with fertility, and are pursuing adoption first.

People seem puzzled with the fact that we were choosing to adopt first. Supportive, but puzzled.

This is something we've thought about before. Are we doing the right thing by adopting first? Should we try to get pregnant?

But then we think; this isn't even our choice. True, Adam has known he wanted to adopt for years now, and I was supportive of that, but when we wanted to start a family...we just knew that we were supposed to adopt. We truly feel that the Holy Spirit called us to do this. Any by choosing to answer that call, we're being obedient to Him.

Adopting certainly doesn't have to be someone's 'Plan B' after they aren't able to get pregnant. Sure, that is often times the case, but what would happen to the children of the world if they were always someone's Plan B?

Fortunately, our agency is very supportive of our choice to adopt before having biological children (if we choose to have biological children).

There are a couple of reasons why they believe it's not a bad idea to adopt before having biological children:
  1. Birth order – Often when adopting (especially international), the chances of adopting an infant are small. If you have a biological child first, then adopt when the child is two or three, you may end up with an adoptive child who is older than your biological child. 
  2. Attention – Children who are available for adoption have likely suffered trauma in their short lives. It's likely that they won't automatically accept a mom or a dad as their parent; full attention needs to be given, trust has to be built. This is more easily done if there are less distractions around the home.
Above all, let's just remember one thing – love makes a family, and we've got that.

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