The Drop Box Film

The Drop Box is a documentary created by Focus on the Family that looks at the hundreds of babies that are abandomed in Souel, South Korea each year.

An idea that originated in the Czech Republic, the baby box is now common among cities around the world. One brave pastor felt the call to rescue and care for these unwanted babies, and, with the specs of a Korean newborn, the drop box was created.

The story walks us through Pastor Lee and his wife's journey through parenting a severely disabled child, who would become their son. From there, Pastor Lee created the "drop box", for mothers to anonymously leave their children to be cared for by the church.

As soon as the baby is dropped off, a bell immediately rings, alerting the pastor and his wife that a baby has been dropped off. We learn of a common practice in Souel—abandoning children on the streets, which leads to a probable death.

It's a beautiful story of a man's answer to a call that we're all asked to do—look after orphans. A man choosing to love the way God loves us.

It's only in theaters March 3–5, so you've only got two days left to see it. I highly recommend it!

Watch the trailer here.

The One That's Hard to Write

It has been seven years since my mom pasted away. It's so hard to believe that much time has come and gone by. What has happened over the past seven years?

I met Adam. I graduated high school. I started college. I traveled across the world. I got engaged. I got married. I graduated college. Adam and I bought a house. And now we're on this journey to find our child. So many times, I've wanted to pick up the phone and tell her about it all.

It feels like it was just yesterday. I came home after school to find my mom and her boyfriend of 12 years, dead. It was a murder-suicide. That day and the days following were some of the most difficult of my life. It made it even harder eight months later when my dad passed away from pancreatic cancer.

But the most important and life-changing thing that happened in the last seven years?  I found Christ. I knew who Jesus was prior to my mom's death, but didn't understand the steadfast love that He has for us. When I look back on those days, it is so evident that God was working in my life, even though I wasn't even seeking Him out.

We're working our way through the book of Genesis at church. This past Sunday, our pastor had to quickly cover chapters 40-45. He talked about how Joseph goes through many trials—including being sold into slavery by his own brothers and thrown into jail for a false accusation, and then suddenly becomes part ruler of Egypt. Through and through, Joseph continues to keep his faith in God.

Joseph wasn't wallowing about his problems or cursing God. He looked at his situation and saw value, because God put him there. He was divinely put in the spot as a recipient of grace.

When somethings bad happens in our lives, it's so easy to ask God why. Why did this happen to me? This isn't fair. Why her? 

Praising God and the situations He puts us in gives purpose to the suffering. As humans, we're sinners. And selfish. We think this story and this life is all about us. We try to find meaning in these hard times but putting the events into a story. The easiest story is that we are the victims. We make God and others (typically, those who have what we don't have), perpetrators of the crime. We become angry with God for putting us in the situation. We become angry with others who have what we lost. And we're okay with being angry. Because we're victims. 

Another story is that we are the hero. We're able to jump over the hurdle and defeat the enemies by an amazing amount of strength that we have. All on our own.

Or we can understand that we are recipients of God's grace. Instead of trying to cast yourself in the main role as a victim or hero, cast yourself aside as an extra. The one who has received the grace to even be apart of this story. Wake up every day and thank God for allowing you to be apart of His day and His story. See value exactly where are you, knowing that is where God wants you.

I miss my mom terribly every day. And some days more than others. It would be amazing if I got to see her and talk to her when ever I wanted. But losing my mom has allowed me to see and understand God's perfect grace. God worked in me in ways that I can't even come close to understanding. But I am so thankful that He did. 

I Am With You and For You

So, it's Friday. All of your regulars who read this know that Fridays mean H54F posts. I had full intention of starting my Friday with a H54F post as well. Until I read my devo for the day. It was one of those where you read it and wonder how in the world it is so applicable to your life? It's like God told the author that on January 9 I would be feeling this way, so she wrote it. How does it happen?!

We sent out holiday cards this year with some notes on adoption FAQs. You know, the basics that we get asked over and over (and over, and over), which is great. I love talking about our journey and the unknown-ness (is that a word) that comes along with it. What I've come across mostly though, is the astonishment from people when we tell them the length of time it will take. Every single adoption journey is different. Some people start out an adoption process with kiddos in mind, and some don't (raising my hand over here). The timing in every adoption journey is also different. While I can only testify to our case, with no specific kiddo in mind, I'm sure the other route is also a journey in trusting in God's plan.

I opened my devo this morning, since I'm trying to make a habit of it (see goal #1), to find a reading that hit me like a ton of bricks (side note: can you imagine actually getting hit with a ton of bricks. No way you'd make it out of that one. So it was actually more like getting hit with a nerf arrow or something.) I opened it up to the following:

I AM WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don't be discouraged—never give up! With my help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent.

Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in my Presence.

Romans 8:31; Psalm 46:1-3; Luke 1:37

Okay, seriously?!?!?!

When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you.

• God has a plan for us. We do not make our own plan. Though we have our own free will to make decisions, when we get on the path that God wants us on, we will get there. (Underline, bold, italics, the works)

Much, much stress results from your waiting to make things happen before their times have come. 

• Um, hello! This is a joke, right? This is me. I get stressed out for no reason at all. No reason. It's because I'm trying to make things happen before they are supposed to. Remember goal #3? This will help that one.

Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in my Presence.

• Let go and let God. He's got this. He's blessed us with this life and He takes such good care of us. 

I know I've said this before, that God has seriously blessed us with patience so far through the process. Not every day, but for the most part. I often tell people that if we wanted to have kids right away, we would have tried to get pregnant. But that isn't part of our plan right now. This is our plan. And we will get there. Who knows when we'll be a family of three (or will it be four?). We don't know. And trying to figure it out isn't going to do us much good. Thank you, Father, for letting this be our plan. 

High Five for Friday

Well hey, there, 2015. It's nice to met you. After one day spent together, I'd say we're off to a pretty good start. Today's post is going to cover some resolutions goals I have for this year. If feel like when I use the word resolution, my resolutions are just asking to be broken. Is that just me? So below are my three goals for 2015. (note: I just wrote 2014, then deleted and wrote 2013. This may take awhile)

1. Spend more time in the word. Why is it that I find it so hard to spend time in God's word every day? Fortunately, my MIL* gifted me with Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young which is a daily devotional with at least two verses per devotional. It's just what I need to get this goal moving. I'm hoping that reading and understanding His word will help me to surrender myself more and more to Him every day.

2. Spend less time on the computer/phone/tablet, etc. With technically bigger than ever, I often find myself stuck on social media or a website in my free time. While I'm not condoning social media (hello Pinterest!), I don't want it to become a bad habit. I am at my computer all day, and often I'll come home and get right back on. I know we're not parents yet, but I'm trying to look at the habits I have now and try to see how keeping them would affect my parenting style. I don't want to be a mom who sees everything my child does though the eyes of my iPhone camera.

3. Be more patient. Sometimes I find myself getting upset quickly, especially if I'm stressed or overwhelmed and especially with my husband. He is one of the easiest people to get along with, but sometimes I can be a little sassy, which isn't fair. I am so grateful for Adam and I would like to show him that more often by toning down the sass. 

What are your goals for 2015? Do you believe that the new year can be a 'new start'?

*MIL is code for Mother-in-Law

A Year's Worth of Thankfullness

I'm sitting here getting ready to write a reflection of 2014 with one day left in the year. I am shocked to think that the year of 2014 is almost over.

We rang in the new year last year driving home from a ski trip to Colorado with the gang (see below). 

Mkini, Adam, me, Maggie, Casey in Keystone, CO

It was so shortly after returning home, that that little voice—the holy spirit—began whispering ideas of adoption in our ears. My first thought was no, no, we'll adopt after we have our own kids (I was so naive back then). My plan (of course) was to get pregnant in a couple months and we'd be starting our family. 

First of all, LOL. I'm laughing out loud just thinking about it. This is why I shouldn't try to make plans. But yet I always do.

We spent most of January 2014 researching and talking to everyone we knew that was currently adopting, or had adopted. We met with a few couples from church. And sent in our application on the last day of January with an agency that I had heard rave reviews from. You know how that turned out...see next paragraph. 

We withdrew our application with our first agency in February and began working on starting over and finding a new agency. Though there were hardships, (like thinking maybe we weren't supposed to be adopting?!), I'm extremely thankful that everything with our first agency happened when it did. No clue what I'm talking about? Refer back to the February posts.

We finally submitted our application to Bethany in April, after numerous meetings folks there (we were making sure this was our agency this time). 

May through August was all about the home study Meetings and meetings and meetings (and meetings!). It's still weird to think about that time being past us, since it was such important step at the time. 

August to now has been spent on getting our fees together and the dossier, which is still moving along, slowly but surely. 

It's crazy to think that a year ago we weren't on this journey, and then one day, poof, God says "go."

Each and every day, I thank God that he put this adoption on our hearts. Because I know, know, that our son or daughter is on this earth already. And just knowing that I get to be his or her mother is just amazing to me. Like, it's planned out. God already knows. That is just so cool to me.

In those same moments of thankfulness, I pray that he continues to give us patience and trust in Him. Because we know that this is our plan. No matter how long it takes or how hard it is. This is the plan that was created for us.

Our God is such an awesome God. And answering to him is also awesome.

Cheers to 2015. What an amazing adventure we've started out on. I can't wait to see how it turns out. 

Dossier

Last week, we had an over-the-phone meeting with our adoptive specialist regarding our dossier. Since we got our fee paid (see last post for shout-out), we were able to have a conversation about starting the dossier. 

First off, if you're not suave with adoption lingo, let's talk about what a dossier is. Basically, the dossier is taking everything we've been working on the last however-many months plus a ton more information. Clear as mud, right? 

These are the documents we need:

• Birth certificates
• Marriage certificates
• Home study
• Medical letter from MD
• Police Clearance (to prove we're not smooth criminals)
• Bank statements, signed by teller
• Photocopy of last 3 years 1040 Income Tax Returns
• Passport photo pages
• Post-placement heritage trip agreement
• Recommendation letters
• Photogrpahs of family and home sans Nellie for cultural reasons
• Guardianship letter
• USCIS Approval
• Proof of home ownership, signed by assessor
• Uganda travel contract
• Adoption Learning Partners training certificates 

All of these items (minus the training certificates) will need to be Notarized and then shipped off to be State-Sealed. 

That sounds fun, right? 

We're getting all of this put together, calling the police station, calling the doctors office, calling my in-laws, hoping to get this stuff together as soon as possible. 

Our adoption specialist also dropped, what I like to call a "bomb" on us. Adam and I were under the impression that our last fee ($4,650) was the final fee before we were just waiting. 

False.

We need to also pay a country fee of $6,400 (includes payment of program administration–salaries; transportation and travel to develop, maintain, and supervise partnerships; communication: internet, telephone; occupancy rental, utilities, building and equipment maintenance; staff training and partner organization staff training; processing and assessment of partner referrals) 

So before we can submit our dossier, we'll need to pay the $6,400 fee. At first, I was kind of like, "reeeeaaaaaally? There is no way we're going to get that together by the end of the year." But then I remembered that it's in His timing, not ours. He's already provided us with so much in this journey and He'll continue to provide for this next fee. So if we don't get it together by the end of the year, that's okay! We'll get it together when we can, and it will all work out perfectly. 

Onward! 

High Five for Friday

Happy Friday to all ya'll. It was a pretty quiet week. . . which is generally a good thing around here. We got some rain, some sun, and some wind, mostly separate, which is also generally a good thing around here. Below are some of the top moments of my week.

1. It's Labor Day weekend. Enough said. Three day weekend, whoo! We have a wedding of a family friend this weekend. Adam is ushering so we'll be heading to the rehearsal dinner Friday night and attend the wedding on Saturday. Adam's parents and brothers (+ nieces!!!!!) will be in town, and I'm so excited to see and spend time with them all. We haven't seen Adam's older brother since he has been home from his recent deployment to Djibouti, Africa.

I'll also make a separate note on the fact that football season starts tomorrow. Go State! Roll Tide!

2. Our connection group has officially started back up for the semester. We've got two new leaders this year and I'm really looking forward to the discussions and conversations we'll have. Currently we have six members, plus our leaders, and are looking at growing to 12–14 members. If you are in the Ames area and are married and in your 20s. . . join us!

3. Because of the wedding this weekend (see number one), Adam's parents came to town on Thursday. While Adam's dad was golfing, Adam and his mom came in and visited me at work and had lunch with me! I'm very fortunate to work for an amazing company that also happens to have amazing food, so everyone likes to come in and try it all. It was fun taking a break to eat lunch and show off my work place to them both.

4. Remember this post where I described the I-600A process? Well, with the help of our Bethany Global Team, we've got it all filled out. Once our home study has been approved (any day now) we'll get it out of here!

5. I feel like I've heard a lot of negativity lately from my peers lately. Nothing too daunting, just complaining about their husbands or wives, work, and some times just life in general. It's easy to fall into the negative spiral once you're sucked in. Though I feel like I have a mostly positive attitude. . . I've decided there is no room for negativity. Today and every day, I'm choosing to be positive. And I'm hoping that others will catch on.

You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16

A little bit of downtime

First off, my apologies for missing the last couple H54F posts. Things have been pretty hectic the last few weeks. . . maybe I'll be able to explain them in this week's post, assuming I get to it.

Secondly, I thought I'd just give a brief update on the process. Last I checked in, our social worker was all finished up with our home study report. As it turns out, we were still waiting on one thing; Adam's employer letter. Well, fortunately, that got sent in, and now it's complete.

 So I checked with Lindsay to see how things were going, if we could be working on anything to get us ahead of the game a bit.

Lindsay's supervisor (the approver) is out on vacation this week. They're going to see if someone else can get it approved this week, but they're not sure if that will work. Otherwise, we were told that there isn't anything we can do to get things moving.

Hmm...

So that's it. That's all I have.

By God's amazing work, we've been able to put enough money (thank you garage sale, t-shirts, donations!) for our next payment due after our home study of $4,650. We'll need to pay this after our home study is approved. I knew (knew!) that God would pull through and stay faithful. We're doing his work, and He's providing.

The Call of Abraham

We had a great message at church a few Sundays ago focusing on Genesis 12:1-19, the call of Abraham, where God tells Abraham to leave his land and his relatives to go to a land that He will show him and will make him into a great nation, be blessed, and make his name great. Sounds pretty good, right? Eh, not so fast.

When God tells Abraham to go, he doesn't tell him where he's going or how long it will take him, he just says, go. How often does God tell us to do something––whether that's adopting a child from across the globe, or taking a new job––and we don't respond. Are you sure you want me to do this, God? What if it's a hard transition? What if I don't feel comfortable? Do you think Abraham––a 75 year old man––felt comfortable picking up his family to walk to this "great nation" that God spoke of. I think I may have be like, Ummm...really, God? I think I'm good. If you read a bit farther into the chapter, you see that even after 25 years, there Abraham is, living in a tent, no babies of his own yet. But he's still like, yep, I'm still here for ya, God. 

What a testament of faith. To do as God says and know with certainty that He is faithful and will be there.

I'm not going to say that answering our call has been, or will be easy, but let's be honest. We wanted to expand our family, so that's what we're doing. I want to live with the kind of faith where I know that if God says, go, I'll go, even if I'm not getting something tangible in return. I pray that I can be in a place where my faith is so strong, that I just listen and respond to what God is asking of me.